The expression of that moment
by ToonLink97
Summary: After 10 years of friendship, Nick needs to abruptly leave Zootopia for an important reason, how will Judy react to it?
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, since i had no ideas for my 2nd chapter of my fanfic, i want to publish a oneshot, i wanted to write something only driven by raw feelings.

One part of the oneshot is a reference to an anime that i love. Bonus points for you if you manage to find the 2 quotes.

Judy tapped quickly on his phone, sweeping on the screen from time to time to switch photo.

"…And this is when me and Nick apprehended Bellwether!" Judy showed it to her mom when she approached her to give a bowl of carrots.

"It's good that you've befriended such a good person and a trusty partner, I'm proud of you" Bonnie gave her a maternal smile and kissed Judy's cheek

"Ya need to invite him sometimes! I'll sure give him the best meal ever!" Stu said joyfully from the kitchen

Judy rolled her eyes and gave a quick bite to a carrot "Didn't you say foxes were vicious and stuff?"

Her father folded his arms, raising an eyebrow "Well…like my mother always said, exceptions is what confirms the rule!"

Judy giggled a bit "And at the moment he needs to take care of his mom, he said she had some serious health problems…I don't know when he will return…his hometown is really far away from Zootopia" a sad veil enveloped her face, taking a look at a photo of her and Nick together eating an ice cream

"Oh what a terrible thing" Bonnie covered her mouth, shocked from the unpleasant new, her ears quickly went down the back

Stu loosened his jacket's collar, giggling nervously "I-I'm sure it's all good! Just you know…a false alarm! Doctors nowadays overreact for every illness you know! He'll be back before you'll notice!"

"I hope so…" Judy muttered, closing her phone and stretching her arms "Thinking about it will only make the situation worse, I'm going to bed, good night!" she waved a paw, exiting from her room slowly while Bonnie and Stu waved a paw, quickly looking at each other with a concerned look.

"She's in love, right?" her father asked when she exited

"Definitely" Bonnie said, sighing a bit

Judy arrived at her room that was exactly like she left it 10 years ago, with lots of plushes and that carrot-shaped bed she loved so much. She didn't even bother undressing herself and thrown herself onto it.

She took a look at her telephone, her eyebrows knit in a frown.

Judy swept towards lots and lots of chats, until she stopped at the photo of a smirky, red fox in a cop suit and sunglasses. With a trembling finger tapped on it, opening the chat.

The last message was 1 week ago, when Judy saw Nick last time at the train station.

"Don't worry Nick! I'll handle the situation here, you need to take care of your mother, I'm fine with it, don't think about me and take as much time as you want" She said, giving a pat on his shoulder and a friendly smile, pushing him towards the train station

He raised his usual sunglasses, showing his shining green eyes and putting up his usual smirk "Okay fluff, but do not do anything stupid, like you know, stopping crime lords or shady foxes with some federal problems"

Judy gave a jab with the elbow to Nick, which replied with a growl "Okay, okay, I allow you to stop crime lords" both of them laughed a bit

Nick assumed a more serious look, taking Judy's hands and trapping her with his green eyes "Judy, do not be sad for me, I will return as fast as I can, but I could also not return if the situation is serious" he stopped himself for a moment, and Judy felt like the time stopped.

She shared everything in those two years, from a simple milkshake to home. It felt like she always knew him despite the short time they were put together as co-workers. Their friendship built up so fast and allowed them to become an undefeated team against the scums of the society, winning and solving every case Bogo handed to them cleanly and without any violence.

They were the living proof anyone could be anything, despite the hate, despite people turning them down and the media always going against them, throwing hateful gossips towards them, they managed to prove every single time to be the best at what they did.

But now it was different, Nick was going away for an undefined amount of time.

Judy felt everything she built crumbling to her feet, she relied on Nick and stood with him both in good times and bad times, sharing jokes and funny moments, but also arguments and quarrels into their friendship, but she didn't hate them, it was normal.

In that moment at the station, she felt her tears coming up more and more times, but she managed to keep her cool and supported his friend, showing him the opposite of what she felt in that moment. Because at the end, staying with Nick taught some valuable lessons about keeping a façade of feelings.

So, with her last willpower, she made the brightest smile she ever did, hugging her friend "Come on! It's going to be okay, now go or you'll lose the train, dumb fox"

"I sure will, sly bunny" she replied, with a smile.

She probably didn't process the whole situation until the next day when Bogo called her into his office to discuss her new partner, because she didn't feel any sadness the same night Nick was gone.

As soon as she arrived to the office, Bogo greeted her quickly and grabbed a folder with some kind of files clipped.

"So Hopps, now that Nick will be occupied for undetermined time, I have a list of candidates that could replace him" the buffalo said with his low tone, adjusting the glasses on his nose.

She just nodded, her eyes still on the chief

"So, the first is…" Bogo started reading, but then she couldn't hear him anymore.

Her vision became blurred, like something was in them, the nose felt warm and the mouth dry.

 _Tap. Tap. Tap._

Judy was sure nothing was dripping, maybe some sweat from her forehead?

 _Tap. Tap. Tap._

She touched her cheeks, following a small line of liquid that flowed from her eyes, and now she understood.

Nick was a part of her, she was sad to lose him, the fear of not being able to see him again, to work with him again, to share moments with him again.

Who would have made stupid, clunky jokes? Who would make funny comments even in the most desperate situations? Who would have made that smirk she loved?

No one.

Everything came like a flow, crashing her façade of stoicism like nothing.

She didn't care if Bogo watched that pathetic display of feelings, she just wanted to cry, sob and scream.

"Nick…" she said softly through sobs and tears, closing her face into her paws "Why this needed to happen? I feel lost without you"

"Please…don't go away NICK" she cried, bringing her knees to the face.

After a bit, she felt something warm enveloping her body. Something soft but heavy.

Bogo covered Judy with a hug, patting her head slowly.

Through one sob and another she said, trying to regain her cool "S-Sorry chief…I-I know c-cops shouldn't react t-that way"

The bulky buffalo wiped her tears from the cheeks and looked at Judy with a piercing glare "Judy Hopps."

"Would Nick Wilde like to see this?" he pointed a finger at her

She shook the head as a "No"

"Then pick up yourself, go out there and kick some scum's butt" he said with an inquisitor tone "When difficulties come up, you face them and smack them down like you always do with the bad guys"

"B-but, I can't do it without Nick…" She muttered, wiping a tear

Bogo sighed and sat "You know, when I was a young cop, I had a partner, another buffalo, she was called Mary" he took a photo of him and her from a pocket

"She was stubborn, bold and unforgiving like me, we always ended up in arguments" he giggled a bit, with a sad expression "but at the end we worked together just fine, covering each other's shoulders and helping both on work and private life"

"Our chief decided to assign us to a very important anti-drug mission. Long story short, she got shot by a powerful poison and fell into a bad coma" his voice was broken but powerful "I fell into depression, I didn't want to be a cop anymore and to throw everything out of the window"

"But, I thought, would Mary want me to be that way? No, so I raised myself up and worked my way out of the problem. One of the worst thing ever happened into my life turned into my reason to take the next step, despite the fact I wasn't able to."

Bogo reached out to Judy "So Judy, don't make this stop you, because if you'll stop now Nick will be upset."

Judy wiped her last tears, jumping from the chair to the floor "Thank you Chief Bogo, I surely will"

He was right, she couldn't waste everything done with Nick. In that moment a surge of willpower flowed through her body, she was sure she could lift a mountain in that moment.

Bogo returned to his authoritative tone "I'll give you 1 week of vacation, then I want your butt here ready for anything"

She nodded, and exited from his office.

Judy returned to reality, she spent 2 hours thinking.

For the second time, she opened her phone and looked at the chat with Nick and closed it.

She didn't need to write any set phrases for bumper stickers.

Instead, she took a look at her last photo. The one she took before Nick took the train.

Both of them hugged each other, Judy with a smile and Nick with an unusual friendly, benevolent and caring smile. That's what would have kept her from throwing everything.

The expression of _**THAT**_ moment.

 _"Even if you're not with me Nick, I will not fall. Waiting you makes me sad, but if waiting means being able to be with you I'll wait for as long as forever."_ She whispered with a smile, before falling into a deep sleep.

I want to take a moment to dedicate this crappy oneshot to a friend of mine, Robert. He was a very cool dude, i met him when i was 5 and we basically shared everything together. The last time i saw him was on a train directed to France, it was the 13th November 2015. He never returned because...well, everyone knows what happened that day. Today it should've been his birthday, so i kinda wrote this oneshot in a surge of bad feelings. I'm 100% sure the whole oneshot contains loads of errors so i'm not expecting anyone to enjoy it. I'm probably a pathetic person for posting such a bad oneshot, but i'll take the blame.

I know you can't really read this, but maybe fooling myself is what i need now. Thank you for your friendship Robert, i wish you could see Zootopia, you liked Disney movies so much.

If anyone managed to enjoy, or i managed to trasmit a glimpse of my feelings, then i thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's notes:**

 **Due to some users requesting it, i managed to give an ending to the oneshot. This is basically when Nick returns.**

* * *

When Nick arrived at the station it was late night, the whole place was empty and little lights shined from the roof, giving a sort of fabled look to the station.

On a bench, a little bunny was sleeping

"She waited for me all the night…" Nick muttered as he approached Judy. She didn't even hear the loud whistle of the train, probably for the lack of sleep in those days.

"Hey fluff…I'm back" Nick whispered in Judy's ear, shaking her shoulder a bit. Judy woke up immediately, gasping a lot and whispering through sobs "I'm here Nick!", turning her head left and right.

Nick giggled a bit, putting a paw on her head "it's okay carrots, I'm here, sorry if I woke up so abruptly"

He knew Judy, so Nick was expecting tears of joy, huge happiness or never ending hugs. But none of them came. Instead, she quickly hugged him and grabbed his paw, towards her cruiser

"Ah it's good to have you back Nick, I need to tell you a lot of things! Firstly, jump in the cruiser" She said joyfully, walking so quickly Nick had to keep up to prevent from tripping.

As they entered in the car, Judy told Nick a lot of her latest achievements and missions, but he didn't really care about it in that moment.

Everything was…too normal, almost like she was reading a script, even her reaction had been very strange, like she was restraining herself from something, maybe for the fear of something? He didn't really understand.

He saw a paw wiggling in front of his face "Hey Nick, are you listening to what I'm saying? Why are you looking me that way?" Judy asked with a puzzled tone. He spaced out for a couple of minutes and kept staring at her.

Nick quickly shook his head and tried to keep his usual coolness "Yeah I was listening, I didn't sleep much on the train so I'm super tired"

Nodded heavily "Oh I didn't sleep much too in those weeks, but tomorrow I want you fresh because we've got an interview to do!" she singsonged, tilting her head left and right.

Nick was startled by that news and almost hit the cruiser's roof "What?! Judy, I'm not even back from one day and you booked an interview?"

"Oh yes, you know I want to shut those media down quickly, and I'm sure you're eager to get back in action ASAP. I've also enlisted us for a new mission, so it's gonna be you and me together" Judy answered instantly, like she was expected that exact question, her way of talking was almost mechanical, the tone was joyful but Nick felt there was something wrong.

"But…I thought that after 5 months you wanted to…you know, spend some time with your good old partner" Nick offered with a sad tone

Judy casted a nervous laugh "Oh…we'll have plenty of time to talk in the breaks and those boring patrol days…oh here's your home!" she quickly stopped the car exactly infront of Nick's house

"Carrots…" Nick started, but she quickly pushed him out of the car "Don't say a word now, go home and prepare yourself for tomorrow, see ya Nick!"

Nick stood there, on the sidewalk, contemplating as the cruiser became nothing but a dot in the horizon, nick at on the sidewalk's edge, grabbing his head.

He couldn't understand what was going on. Judy's behavior felt so unnatural he thought she was hiding something from him, but what? And most importantly, why?

"Maybe you were expecting a…different welcome?" a voice in his head replied "Maybe she found someone better than you and she doesn't want to hurt you".

A coherent explanation, but he refused to believe so and tried to delete that awful thought from his mind as he slowly approached his door's house.

Judy arrived at her tiny home and with a yawn crumbled on the bed.

"Ah, now that Nick is back I can work with him again!" she thought while grabbing her block notes and quickly browsed through the pages. They were filled with lines of text and sentences.

"For how much will you be able to keep this farce?" A voice in her mind said

She shook her head "It's not a farce, that's what I want! Nick with me as a partner again"

"You're trying to fool your own conscience, are you that deluded?"

"I'm not deluded…I just have to keep the pledge I did to Nick before he went away, I can't show him I was hurt from him going away, and I would make him feel guilty…"

"If that had been the problem you wouldn't have been able to say it so easily, don't you think?"

"What I'm asking you is, do you want to fool yourself and think you only want to be your partner?"

Judy grabbed her head, sinking it in the pillow, muttering "Shut Up" as tears soaked the pillow.

"I have to do this…I have to endure this, for Nick" She sobbed.

The next day the ZPD was crowded by all kinds of reporters armed with microphones and block notes, while some agents tried to keep the crowd from the off-limits are of the police station, Bogo slowly walked towards the wooden pedestal

"Silence!" He shouted in the microphones and every sound ceased in the room "Today I'm proud to announce that a valuable resource has returned in service in the police, Mr. Nicholas Piberius Wilde." The sound applauses filled the room

Bogo put up a subtle smile and kept with his monologue "Now I will gladly invite Mrs. Judy Hopps to talk about the ongoing situation and how she handled everything when his partner was away"

Judy climbed on the pedestal, she was prepared for every question. 2 weeks of preparation with more than 50 premade sentences and answers. Nothing could scratch her perfect strategy.

Infact, Judy answered to the questions properly, such as "Was your work harder?" or "Will you continue to do the same with Nick again?"

"Why did you choose to work alone instead of taking another partner?" Someone said from the crowd. She had an answer for that too.

Judy tried to speak, nothing but stumbled words came out

Judy tried again, this time her voice was missing completely.

"That's what you get for fooling yourself" the voice in her mind said "You can't say something you don't believe, you're not a liar."

Judy stood there, she didn't know for how much, either years or seconds, but she didn't care. This was right, wasn't it? She was ensuring Nick could be her partner again, right? That voice was just trying to play with her, right?

Judy tried to summon all her willpower and spoke again, this time the words came, but in a different way she expected

"…because Nick is irreplaceable" Her voice was soft, almost whispered. That wasn't what she wanted to say.

A lot of voices, whispers went through the crowd of reporters.

"In which sense?"

"Is Nick Wilde something more?"

"What do you mean by irreplaceable?"

In a moment, the room was filled by those kind of questions.

Judy tried to keep up with them but she couldn't

"Do you really want to answer those questions?" the voice in her head said bitterly "You can try, but in the end you'll not be able to hide everything forever"

Judy tried to not care about it, but she knew she couldn't "You're just a coward, saying that everything is okay even when you know it isn't. You do not deserve Nick's friendship"

In that moment, she felt something warm in the chest, like a fire that burnt everything in her body. Remorse, guilt and sadness made their way towards Judy, crashing her façade of joy and happiness.

She shouted something in the microphone, she heard only her voice as every other sound stopped. And then she ran, again she didn't know where, but she just wanted to escape from that place.

Nick stared at the scene, his mouth opens in disbelief. Judy just ran away after shouting something, Bogo quickly tried to keep the crowd calm

"Okay guys, officer Hopps seems to…have worked too much! We're done for today, the other officers will show you the way out. Thanks for coming." Bogo said quickly, and approached Nick that was still shocked of everything he saw.

"Nick, we need to talk, come into my office" the big buffalo said plainly.

After both of them sat in Bogo's office the police chief started "Nick, I'm sorry for that, I shouldn't have allowed her to talk, I know how she can be…over emotional"

"It's not your fault, she was strange yesterday and I should have tried to change her mind" Nick muttered, looking at the ground with guilt

"Strange? She was super happy about you returning here" Bogo replied with a puzzled tone

"Yeah…she just wanted me to work with her again, she didn't even ask me about the trip, or how my mother was…I'm just puzzled. In 5 months she didn't send a text or tried to call me" Nick explained, his eyebrows knit as he tried to understand what was going on.

Bogo sighed, putting his paws over the table "In this 5 months, she worked twice as hard, even if she was alone she managed to do everything by herself. Every day she was there even before I arrived."

"But…why? I can't understand…" Nick started, but Bogo shushed him

But, suddenly, something clicked in Nick's mind.

"So you need to go…right"

"Yeah Carrots, I'll be away for a lot I suppose, what about our team? Will you be able to keep everything under control?"

"Sure Nick! Don't think about me"

"But…a new partner or worse, working alone will be very hard.

"Nick, It's gonna be just fine! Do not think about me, I'm okay, don't let me stop you. Even if I'll be alone I'm going to carry on…"

Everything became clear as if a gust of wind cleared his mind from the clouds of doubt.

"That dumb, emotional bunny…" He muttered.

"Bogo, thanks for the help, I know what to do now." He looked at the buffalo with a determined look.

"You're still in service officer Wilde" Bogo shouted

"I'm known for breaking the rules" Nick said, putting up his usual smirky attitude

Bogo replied with a smile and offered a handshake, adding just "Go."

Nick complied and exited from the office before he could see Bogo tucking out of his pocket a photo.

"I wish you could be there to see those two dumbs, the situation is surely funny."

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The bridge was exactly like that day, except for the rain falling heavily, creating puddles of mud all around it.

Judy sat under it, face into her knees. Despite how much she tried, she couldn't just lie to herself. She failed, both to herself and Nick.

Judy had been there for a good hour, and she probably would've been there for more if a voice didn't make her raise the head

"Aw, so much memories in this place. Our first big argument. The one about nighthowlers, remember?" The voice was honeyed with a bit of melancholy in it.

"N-Nick…" She could only say

"It's okay, I'm here." Nick crouched to face Judy, his gaze was powerful, Judy felt she could almost read whatever she was thinking. "I want you to answer to one question." He said, slowly

Nick turned his head, like he couldn't bear Judy's look "Why?"

Judy didn't understand at first, but then she got it. He figured out everything.

"Why would you do such a farce? I have no problem if you only want to be professional partners with each other.

Judy was still silent, her cheeks and eyes were red from the tears.

Nick assumed a serious look "I'm not going to leave until you give me an answer Carrots."

For the second time in that day, she felt that fire in her chest, but now it was different, she understood it.

Those weren't guilt, or remorse and sadness.

Those were the true feeling for Nick. Guild, Remorse and sadness came from restraining them. She knew it, but she didn't want to believe it.

"Sorry Nick…I'm just a coward, I do not deserve you" Judy started as tears flew from her eyes.

"I told you that everything would have been okay…but it was a lie. I worked so hard because in the vain attempt of forgetting that you were away, but I didn't manage to." Her voice was broken and sad

"I didn't want to call or text you because I was sure I would've done exactly this, making you return immediately because I know how much you care about me…I ended up ignoring your calls and texts because I'm just a bad friend. I wanted not to get hurt but at the end I hurt you."

Nick contemplated that moment and smiled, it wasn't a happy smile, but not even a sad one. He didn't know why, but he felt like smiling was right.

"You know…1 week ago I visited my mother, she was getting better so I wanted to see her. We talked a lot about me and my work. And about you too." He made a nervous giggle

"I told her that I thought you were angry with me because you didn't text nor call me, but she laughed. In that moment I thought she was playing with me, but then…"

"she said: That girl is probably suffering a lot, she is restraining herself from contacting you just to prevent you from returning to Zootopia…what a kind girl" Nick voice was sad and melancholy "She told me to return to Zootopia despite the fact she still needed some help. She told me that everything would have been okay"

He put a paw on Judy's cheek softly and raised her head "I thought it was just false, but I listened to her. And I'm glad I did it"

"Because, the truth is…everyday of that trip I felt like a heavy weight in my chest, like something was pulling me down. Something that made me feel melancholic everytime I thought about it."

"And I realized I can't live without you Judy"

Both mouths collided. In that moment everything became clear. Sadness, melancholy, guilt and remorse were wiped away from that powerful act of love.

They kissed for an undetermined amount of time. After they finished it, Judy said, her voice was now filled with hope "I thought I could see you in a photo every day to relieve my feelings, but it wasn't true. There are so much photos…but no one is good enough. I want to see the real Nick for every day of my life, until I die, I want to stay with you Nick"

Nick smiled "And so do I"

"I…Love you" Both of them said, closing themselves in a hug.

At the end of the story, both of them lived happily ever after. Every struggle wasn't a fortuity, it was needed.

Because that's how the DESTINY has chosen

I had a blast writing this 2nd chapter. Now the story is truly finished.

* * *

 **Final author's notes:**

 **So i didn't want to do a "super good ending". What i mean is, like, i didn't want them to be super happy and so on. I wanted to add some sadness too, because i feel like Judy would have done that, and because i like stories like that.**

 **Are you satisfied of this "ending"? Tell me if you think if Judy would have done that.**

 **Some misteries remains:**

 **What did Judy say at the interview?**

 **What did Nick say to her mom about Judy and him?**

 **Which are the feelings Nick felt in those 5 months of absence?**

 **I could do some more "Nick POV" chapters, but i'm not sure about it.**

 **Again, lots of reference to an anime, if anyone managed to get which one i'm referring too, have a cookie.**

 **Thanks for everyone for bearing with my bad writing and cringy topics, i recieved a lot of support, Thank you everyone for that.**


End file.
